Are you an idiot? Then perhaps you’d like to live in Utopia…
In the same way as George W Bush is often so bizarre as to be beyond parody, so the Property Developers have outdone themselves with this latest addition to Glasgow’s poorly constructed and overpriced ‘young professional apartment block ghetto’ sector. From the name, to the taglines – “Modern living, perfected” which means what exactly? What the hell is ‘modern living’ and it what way has it been perfected? – to the bizarrly cropped and composed stock photography, everything about this reeks of an elaborate and carefully crafted satire on this mode of architecture and urban development.
But as far as we can see, it is real – even the bizarre marketing speak on the billboard – apparently these appartments offer ‘penthouse-style features’- What? – I mean, I thought the only distinct feature of a penthouse was that it was a penthouse – and the enigmatic sign off – ‘life is beautiful’ – you can almost hear the distant sound of bottoms of barrels being scraped.
Perhaps this is due to the sheer oversaturation of this part of the market, and you can see parallels in other sectors – those naming and branding Glasgow’s bloated ‘style bar’ sector also seem to be struggling – two new additions being ‘Box’ and ‘Brick’.
The heartening thing may be that these could be indicators of this sectors terminal decline – hopefully this is desperation derived from the failure of the public at large to fall for these meagre, soulless and empty offerings. The proof will be in apartment sales at Utopia – we’ll keep an eye on those billboards…